Running on empty? Or full?

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Doodle on evaluation turned in at the last Rookies training

Doodle on evaluation turned in at the last Rookies training

Those of you lucky enough to attend the Just Futures gathering on Liberation and Anti-Oppression with Leticia Nieto and Norma Wong were assigned several tasks.

Among them was thinking very concretely about how our personal power is impacted by how well we take care of ourselves.

Getting with a partner, we told that person what activities we love to do; things that nurture us.  Then all of us were called upon to tell our partner all the excuses we use for NOT doing the thing that sustains and nourishes us.   And, no matter what excuses we came up with, our partner was to respond “so what”.

We all need to engage in the activities that create life balance for us – that is, balancing all the tiring stuff at work, with the ease and beauty of hobbies, avocations, activities that “fill our gas tanks.”

My partner for this activity was Donna Hatten from the Yakima YWCA.  I told her I love to sew and that I bought some fabric a long time ago and I intended to make a pillow.  Then I gave her my excuses – all of which sounded silly when said out loud.  So I went home and made my pillow and had a jolly good time doing it.

Tyrapillow

Donna told me about her love of clay.  And she gave me a bunch of bogus excuses – and she went home and made this!!  Wow, huh?donna 1 and 2

Who was your partner?  What is the activity that fills you with happiness – that fills your tank?  Did you check in with your partner?  What did you find out?  To all excuses I say “So what?”

Work Fit for Families

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This week’s post brought to you by guest blogger Karen Burke, Executive Director of DVSAS of Whatcom County.                          

At Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services of Whatcom County, we often refer to our office as our second home and to our co-workers as our second family. All of us in this field are aware of the enormous amounts of time and life energy that are dedicated to our work. It can be challenging to find a healthy work/life balance and for parents this challenge is compounded as they navigating the demands of working and raising children.  To help retain our talented working parents, DVSAS of Whatcom County has committed to making our workplace family friendly.

Last year three members of our work family had beautiful new babies. DVSAS was able to offer flexible work schedules, reduced hours for transitions back to work from maternity leave, and additional breaks for breastfeeding moms. In addition to these benefits, we also allowed the new babies to come to work with their moms! We currently have babies Norah, Kai and Bronwyn here who have graduated from almost full time at the beginning to some partial days now. We are already looking forward to the addition of two new babies who are due in June and July.

Now that the babies are a bit older, the moms have pooled together and hired a child care provider who watches the babies on site (after talking to our attorney and insurance agency, of course). The moms take breaks to visit the kids and are able to respond quickly if they are needed. Actually, most of our staff takes breaks to visit the babies!

With the high costs of child care the financial benefit to the working parents is obvious. What was more surprising was the benefit to the entire staff. Having these wonderful little ones in the office provided a boost in staff morale, adding an element of hope and joy to our office that has been regenerative to us. Just yesterday, I heard one of our volunteers say that her favorite thing about being at DVSAS is the babies. It is also not at all unusual to hear staff members say that they need a minute of baby time or a baby hug. In fact, I think it is about time for me to go take a baby break myself.

Babies

Satisfaction

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It’s a no-brainer that loving (or even liking) your job leads to you sticking around longer. The next few Good Jobs posts will be about job satisfaction, and how it is about so much more than higher wages. We asked employees at DV agencies across Washington State in the 2011 Wages and Benefits survey: Overall, how do you feel about your job? Overwhelmingly, employees responded that they liked their job all or most of the time (93%). That’s excellent! We also asked employees and directors: What are your favorite things about your job? What are your least favorite things about your job? What are the main reasons you work for the organization? Click on the following Wordles to see what participants had to say. (If you are unfamiliar with how Wordles work, the bigger the word, the more people who said it).

Favorite things about your job:

Wordle 1.4

Least favorite things about your job:

wordle 2.4

Participants’ main reasons for working at their organization were varied. Many said simply because they loved it. Others said that they believed in the mission of the organization and the cause. Some identified that they were survivors who had sought support from the organization, and they wanted to give back to the community in that same way. Others said that they wanted to be a part of an organization that was well respected in the community.  Several people noted inspiring and effective leadership within the agency.  Many mentioned that they loved the working environment, their team, their coworkers.

Others had more pragmatic answers, but still important to mention. These included: Close to home so the commute is excellent; Offered part time work with benefits; Offered a flexible schedule to accommodate school classes; Needed an entry level job to begin building experience in the field; Offered much needed health insurance.

Wow, what a list! It’s helpful to see the least favorite things, and think about how our own jobs measure up and how we might improve. AND it’s also clear that we have a very sturdy structure to build onto. Does this give anyone ideas about non-wage topics you might like to work on in your own organization? We’d love to hear your thoughts!

Making Work Work

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You are finding some great ways to create Good Jobs—creating fulfilling work environments and jobs that support staff working with people in crisis. Here are four DV Program Directors talking about good ideas that worked for their agencies.

Baking Bread

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by Kelly Starr

Have you ever baked bread? I’m not very good at it, but I like the work of kneading the dough and love the way it makes my house smell.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of meeting Aimee Thompson. She’s the executive director of Close to Home, an organization in Boston that does local community organizing to prevent domestic violence.

imagesShe shared with me this excerpt from the book The Moral Imagination that compares baking bread to mobilizing people for social change. The metaphor really resonated with me. How about you?

1. The most common ingredients for baking bread are flour, salt, water, yeast and sugar. Of all of the ingredients, flour is the largest, the mass. Among the smallest is yeast. There is only one that makes the rest grow: yeast. Smallness has nothing to do with the size of potential change…The principle of yeast is this: a few strategically connected people have a greater potential for creating the social growth of an idea or process than large numbers of people who think alike…

2. Yeast, to do its thing, must first move from the jar or the foil packet and into a process, of initially its own growth, and then into the wider mass…Mixed directly and quickly into the mass, yeast does not work…

3. … yeast will be much stronger and more resilient if it has a dash of sugar and if it is not placed in glaring sunlight, that is, if it is located a bit out of the way and covered…Following the same principles, social change requires careful attention to the way people in their environment mix in relational spaces that provide a warm, initially somewhat separate and therefore safe space to bring together what has not usually been brought together…

4. The yeast must then be thoroughly mixed into the mass. This is no minor process. In bread baking, it is called kneading. It is intentional and requires a good bit of muscle. Further, bread bakers rarely accept the first signs of growth as legitimate. To be authentic, growth must find a source that rises, again and again, in spite of everything that pushes it down.  Yeast is defined by its capacity to be resilient. In social change, the critical yeast must find a way to sustain the purpose of whom they are as yeast yet to be mixed back into the full mass such that in spite of ups and downs, they are characterized as displaying the capacity to generate growth…

 

Hope and Lethal Absence Of

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Do you ever listen to podcasts? I do. I garden as my iPod entertains me with This American Life or The Splendid Table.

The other day I switched to On Being and was wowed to hear this interview with Father Greg Boyle.  He works with gangs in LA. He used to approach his work as peace-making—but has made a significant shift, a pivot, if you will. Perhaps from social services to social change.

If you listen to this podcast, tune in when he talks about a “lethal absence of hope.”  And his proactive attitude of “How can we seek a compassion that can stand in awe of what people have to carry, rather than in judgment of how they carry it.” How would our work change if we switched out judgment— judgment of ourselves, battered women, CPS caseworkers, teenagers, and so on—and replaced it with awe?

Father Greg Boyle is a Jesuit priest, so you may need to translate a bit into your own spiritual tradition or values—but it’s all here.

The sketchnotes that illustrate this blog at the beginning are offered by Doug Neill from On Being.  Use these if you listen to the audio— or draw your own notes.  Email them to me, or post them in comments.

Slow Down. Step Through. So What?

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by Karin White – YWCA Pierce County

In reflecting on the last two days I was fortunate enough to spend with wonderful leaders in DV and SA work at the Just Futures Gathering, three main points resonated with me. Partly because of the awe I felt at the wisdom, authenticity, and graciousness of the presenters, but also because of how these concepts ring true in my own life.

A little more than a year ago I was at a conference with my colleague. I was tired, per usual. As we discussed a great workshop on organizational wellness, my colleague gave me what is maybe the biggest favor anyone can do for someone they care about—she told me the truth. She pointed out to me what I couldn’t see for myself, which was that I was so burned out, so busy, and so depleted that of course I was intrigued by the idea of wellness. As I took in and sat with these words for awhile, what I realized was that a) she was right (I hate that), and b) I had no idea how to apply to myself the advice I give others all the time.

What ensued was a year-long journey that I am still on, that is focused on what it means to be well; to be whole, whole-hearted, balanced, and ultimately to thrive. Both as an individual and as/in the many roles I play. The idea that life can be joyful, peaceful, vibrant, and fulfilling disappeared for me a long time ago. I was tired to the very marrow in my bones; cynical, pissed, and on auto-pilot. Auto-pilot on overdrive.

I won’t go in to all the details of where this journey has taken me, but here’s what I know for sure: In slowing down, there is grace for myself and those around me. In stepping through the doorway to my own core being and owning it, I minimize the unintended consequences I have on the people around me who I love. In having a colleague who is willing to tell me the truth, to ask me, “so what?” when I make excuses for not taking care of myself, there is space for healing. Working for the empowerment of other women, I somehow lost sight of my own inner power, my own ability to be my best self.

How often do we want for others what we make excuses for when it comes to ourselves? Every damn day. If we are to slingshot forward as a movement, we must be ready to slingshot forward our own lives. It’s ugly, painful, raw, and the best thing that ever happened to me! And you know what I learned? Some pretty awesome stuff:

  • I am alive and have the innate ability to embrace my life.
  • I am not alone; I have a “power grid” of those who came before me and will come after, and of those who walk beside me to inspire and tell me the truth.
  • I can feel joy; I numb out joy when I numb out pain—feeling both makes my life richer.
  • I can have love; if I don’t have it for myself, I can’t have it for anyone else, or really get it from anyone else.
  • I can access my own internal resource (core, center, resilience, soul—call it whatever works for you); any time, any place, for any reason I want or need.

I’m not a poster child for wellness by any means. What I know is true is this: when I slow down and breathe, when I step through the doorway toward my own inner power, when I ask myself “so what?” and quit making excuses for ignoring my own needs, then—ONLY then, can I bring my best self into the work that I love and believe in, that I think will someday change the world.

“In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” –Albert Camus

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